I have 31 days until I graduate.
That is it.
And you know what hit me?
When I first started my student teaching I had this feeling of, "Oh goodness. This is an every day thing. Every day I am going to have to wake up early, make my lunch, make sure I have EVERYTHING I need, and go to school and teach." And it's true. I do.
But I don't even think of it like that anymore.
I realize how much I love what God has called me to be.
There is this routine.
Especially in the morning.
First thing in the morning I get to school way earlier than my cooperating teacher. Not to make her look bad, but just to get there, sit outside the room on the desk that is out there and just breath in the day. The halls are empty. It's just quiet. As if the school is holding it's breath waiting for the day to start, waiting for the kids to bring in this life that only kids can bring. And I wait too.
When my teacher gets there I do my morning tasks. I put bubble gum on the bubble gum chart, change out the ranch hands, pass out any papers they need, write down the morning message, and just make sure the room itself is ready. Even though it is not MY room, it feels like I am part of it.
Then the kids come rushing in. Bright eyed... except for like two who trudge in and say something along the lines of "Morning... why..." but I still manage to get a smile out of them as well. Then I have one little stinker (he can be so sweet but he is too ornery for his own good.) who comes up to me every morning and tells me some little piece of good news and assures me that they turned in their homework. Then one of the munchkins gives me my daily morning hug. Then two little stinkers come up and ask to go to the bathroom. Then another comes up and she tells me all about her adventures. Then I sing the good morning song and we meet at the carpet. I say good morning and they say it back. Just like I have dreamed of.
I can't imagine having anything better in the morning. I mean seriously. I don't like mornings. I really don't. But. The kids make it so much better.
And today one little girl had asked if she could do some extra retell work just so she could write about her favorite book and tell me all about that. Then two little girls had picked me dandelions.
Now I am not saying teaching is all sunshine and roses. There have been days I get so frustrated at the students or feel like I am doing a terrible job, or just want to bash my head into the white board because I feel like that is the only way I can get their attention. I have had lessons fail so bad that I just stopped confusing everyone and did something else completely.
But for every frustration there are two golden moments.
It has taken so much work for this class to realize, oh she is a teacher. I think it was the week my cooperating teacher was out sick with pnuemonia that they really realized that I was a teacher. That I could teach. That was when they started calling themselves me AND my teachers class. That next week she came back most was still coming up to me first.
They still do. And I think my teacher is okay with it to a point because I am becoming a teacher. I am starting to feel like a teacher more and more every day.
Granted now I am losing subjects until I won't be teaching anything anymore.
Which makes me sad.
The kids are so disappointed that I am not teaching science anymore.
The LOVE science.
BUT I AM NOT TEACHING MATH NEXT WEEK!!! YESSS!!!!
My teacher said she would take math if I were to take Shared reading. I most definitely agreed to that!
(random topic change)
I see my friends' facebook pages. They are going on missions trips. They have all these deep philosophical conversations with strangers.
Can I just say... I am so glad God does not determine our worth by the works that we do.
I mean I know I am still touching lives, I am affecting lives. I impact at least 24 lives every single day.
Sometimes it doesn't feel as spectacular as every one else's...
But it is a relief to know that we are loved, saved, redeemed, and are given mercy and grace not based on our works. But because of the love of Jesus Christ. I am bought under his blood and am adopted into God's family.
I might not be amazing or spectacular. But I am God's child. His daughter in fact.
Which no offense to all the dudes out there... I think God has a special place for his daughters. Think about it.
When the Israelite's couldn't get their act together and the men were not willing to stand like God asked them to... he called women to do it. Think of Deborah. Look at Esther.
But that is just my opinion. Just like I think left handed people are EXTRA special because of Ehud. He was labeled as a LEFT HANDED PERSON AND HE KILLED THIS REALLY FAT DUDE!!! IT WAS AWESOME! THIS KING WAS SITTING ON THE TOILET (essentially) AND EHUD WAS CHECKED BUT SINCE BASICALLY ALL MEN WERE RIGHT HANDED THEY DIDN'T CHECK HIS RIGHT SIDE FOR A SWORD BECAUSE IT WOULDN'T HAVE MADE SENSE, SO HE SNUCK IN A SWORD AND STABBED THIS OOBER FAT KIND WHILE HE WAS ON THE TOILET AND IT TOOK THE GUARDS A REALLY LONG TIME TO REALIZE THE KING WAS DEAD! AND DO RIGHT HANDERS HAVE A STORY WHERE IT LITERALLY SAYS "HE WAS RIGHT HANDED"?! I THINK NOT!!!! :D
I am just saying. It is R rated. So if you want something Biblical, but gory and fighting and kind of frustrating and awesome and action packed... Judges.
But Yeah. Ehud man...
Got off on a bunny trail there :D
God is so good and I am so glad he is how he is. Merciful, kind, and the fulfiller of dreams.
He gives us dreams and then he helps us reach them.
God is awesome!
Have a good night!!!!
P.S. I PROCRASTINATED AND MADE THESE DELICIOUS PEANUT BUTTER AND CHOCOLATE RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!