Well, this week has been quite the week.. and its only tuesday! (I think...} Anyways. I realize that I have no clue what I want to do in life. What I want to be, or even who I really am. I am so confused about so much right now! I just want to find myself and I think I want to change my major... which is crazy cause I have ALWAYS wanted to be the same thing since I was very young! But you know what I realized today... I might not know so much about me and I might be having difficulties making necessary life decisions. There is one thing I have decided. I believe that this is the most influencial and critical decision one has to make in thier lifetime. I decided that I might not know who I am exactly, or what I want to do , I am going to follow God. I decided that God is going to be in my life no matter what. He is my rock. my source of comfort. He is the one thing I know will always be there and he is the only thing I am sure of. Which is the most wonderful feeling knowing that no matter how lost and alone I feel, that I am never really lost and alone. He is always leading me and guiding me and walking with me. This is so comforting as life can be confusing when you are trying to figure out what you are meant to be in this crazy world!
So, Gods timing is always best. But to be honest it certainly doesnt feel that way! I mean, I have been having a great three days or so! Super happy! Actually eating! Getting seconds! I thought one of my friends was gonna fall over when I got up to get more food!!!! Then, tonight (earlier tonight that is...} thing after thing just kept hitting our small city front group! It was ridiculous! Well, two of my friends broke up. So, I felt bad for both of them, and ended up talking to both of them. Then, another couple found out that a family from back home had gotten into a car accident and four out of five family members had died. The one who survived was away at college. I cannot even imagine how that girl is feeling right now. please, I ask that you join me in praying for her, because that has got to be the worst feeling on this planet. And one of my friends, she is really in a crummy mood because about one year ago one of her best friends died in a car accident. So when she heard news about this other couples friends... I thought she was going to start bawling.... I felt awful for her. So she is not doing well from that. I can honestly say that tonight... timing seemed to suck. I was thinking, *Why on earth are all these things happening all at once!* Whats the point of all of this! Between this weekend and last weekend... oy! I know we should trust God through all things and with all things... but on nights like these, where you just cant sleep because your mind is swirling out of control with questions and wonderments... you just cant help wondering... what is Gods plan. Why. Just why. My heart hurts for the girl who lost her family. My heart hurts for the girl who lost her closest friend a year ago. My heart hurts for the couple who broke up. My heart just hurts tonight. And I sometimes wonder, does Gods heart hurt like ours do... Wouldnt it hurt more than ours, because he created us, he knows more about our feelings than we do. Tonight I am not going to ask a question. I think instead I am going to ask for a favor. Will you please join me in prayer for the people who have been hurting today. The ones who have cried out to God. The ones who can say that today has been a not-so-great day. I just ask that you pray with me that God will give them peace through the night, and that God will dry their tears, hold them in his arms and whisper that he is going to take care of them and carry them through these trials. I also pray that if you, my dear reader, are having a not-so-good day too that God will comfort you as well. Goodnight, and in sleep in Gods amazing and wonderful peace.
Sorry folks, I realize it has been ten days!!!!
I know what you are thinking... those nasty little old people cookies! I will let you know that they are my FAVORITE cookies because of the memories. When I was three or four my grandpa had suffered a stroke. I remember going in and visiting him while he was still in the hospital. He and I watched tv, and played with the bed making it raise and lower! Then me and him ate a whole box of devil food cake cookies together giggling about how silly it all seemed!
In fact, today my grandpa turned 80! So I got Devil Food cake cookies to celebrate since I couldnt go down! So sometimes even if the food isnt five star, the memories are all it takes to make it the best tasting food EVER!
What is your favorite memory food!
Remember when we were kids. I remember when I was a kid and all I longed for was to be independent and an adult. It looked so much fun! I mean there were adventures involved and shopping and getting to drive anywhere you wanted to go whenever you wanted! And then of course in my young mind it was inevitable that I would find my prince and travel the world!!!
However, i am now mostly an adult (almost twenty in fact!} and I have to say... life is NOTHING like what I imagined it to be! Its alot more work! There is no free time for just climbing trees and jump rope!
I am not saying that adulthood sucks completely though! I still get to drive wherever (within reason} and I try to go on adventures! But even though I try to make adulthood as much as i can like what I have always wanted to do, real life still likes to jump in front of me and be like, *MUWAHAHA dont forget about me!*
Though, we cannot always give `real life` such a bad name. Cause sometimes life is wonderful! Good job that you enjoy! Amazing friends! Good food!!!! And you know what they say... life is what you make it! So i am going to make life an adventure of a lifetime! Something my great grand nieces (I am not having children} are going to look back on and be like *I wanna be the exotic adventurous Aunt, just like Aunt Em!* Then they will play pretend about adventures in Bali and Europe and South America! I think that would be awesome!!!!!!
What do you want life to become!
I have yet to sleep. You see, today was my very first time for having to do inventory at work. It sounded scary and we had to be at work at 5... well... I decided that since I had to be up at three I just wasnt gonna sleep so that is what I did. I have to say I survived! It was actually quite fun! But now... i think I am gonna sleep.... I shall write more later. I promise!
A human who is addicted to Panda Express' Orange chicken. I enjoy writing and really enjoy playing Spyro and Ultimate Chicken Horse on the XBox.