Sitting on my deck IN BROAD DAYLIGHT, writing.
SOMEONE MIGHT SEE ME!!!!
Actually probably not.
I have the BEST view of the whole parking lot, because I can see pretty much all of the parking lot, which means I can creep. It also means I can see where everyone is moving in and what they look like and yada yada.
Call me a creep.
But at least it is free entertainment.
I meant take the girls family who is moving into my old building... they are clingy almost trying to avoid... oh wait.... that is my old roommate... what?!
And over there... there are a pair of grandparents in a bright yellow Cobalt. Pulling out odds and ends from their trunk. (not for themselves because they left.)
And that one there.. well that is like roommate number 6 for that apartment. (I only know this cause of the people helping him carry in his stuff.)
All the UHALS and trailers.
You know music is getting cranked, roommates are bonding more and catching up over the summer. And they are making these HUGE plans that everyone knows will very likely not happen. But it is fun to pretend.
Those of us who have moved out of the dorms are excited. It's the next step in life! And it's exciting!
I mean college is supposed to change us and we wait expectantly for this change!
We don't realize how much we have changed.
I was talking to the artsy guy the other night. (I say he is artsy because he is an artist. He draws. I will potentially come up with a new name for him that is a little more original. But for now. Deal with it, dear readers, deal with it.)
ANYWAYS (you all keep trying to get me off topic), I was talking to him and I realized how much I have changed in five years.
I am stronger, braver, more faith filled, and yes... the world has lost some of its magic for me... but also the magic that has kept on has gotten stronger.
In fact there has been new magic introduced to me.
Magic I though didn't exist for me.
And while the magic didn't last, I got a glimpse of it. And that in itself is a blessing.
And I also haven't changed.
I am quirky and love witty humor. I LOVE to dance. I enjoy hearing people's stories, and going to busy crowded places, finding a "hiding spot" and watching people and trying to make stories up for them.
I just have grown. And honestly, if at 22 I am the same that I was at 18... there would be problems.
New topic: (Thought I would warn you this time)
I was the grocery store today. And I don't know why it made my day so much... but I was walking and texting the male-whom-I-was-fond-of (I DID tell you! Don't blanche at me!) And this random old guy sorta clapped in front of me to get my attention, I had just assumed it was one of my old guys from work that I see around. So I looked up with a smile and was like "Hello!" and the guy grinned back and was all "You have a beautiful smile." And I dunno... that just sorta brightened my day. Probably should not have. But it did. I really don't know why I told you that story...
Another thing that happened today was this.
I got to talk to the Tyrant. (Remember him from way back when?) It has been like two years. So it was very nice catching up about him and his wife (who I got together).
I had to give him the short version of what has happened in like two years. Which was harder than I thought it would be. Then I was talking about guys and all the guys that have happened and all the dates I have been on. And my married friend (the one I set up) asks me (sidenote: WHO SMOKES POT IN THE DAYTIME?!) "You are gonna settle down soon though, right?"
"You are gonna settle down soon though right?!"
Here's the thing.
To settle down, you need a serious boyfriend.
To settle down, you need to be ready to settle down.
To settle down, you have to find a person who wants to settle down WITH you.
But I don't have any of that.
And you know what?
I am fine with that.
I don't even know if I COULD settle down.
I mean my mom has kinda been wondering... and of course Grandpa Joe who is worried he will be dead before I even get a boyfriend. And my Grandma M.
Everyone wants me to settle down. Get married.
And it's natural for them to want that. I mean I am 22! Even I want that.
But I haven't found my guy yet.
Or maybe I have and I am just too stubborn.
I hope not.
I DO want to have a partner to adventure with.
But like everyone keeps asking me WHEN it's gonna happen.
As if I have the ability to be like 'Okay. Now. Now I am going to settle down." and BOOM there he standing right there in the middle of parking lot going. "I felt the pull of your readiness and my love! I have travelled and long and far for your hand in marriage, for I too am ready to settle down!"
That happens and I will right a long post on how romanticizing the world is the best thing to happen because it is all true. Just like in a fairytale.
But I promise I am NOT bitter. (No sarcasm intended)
I just think it's funny how people are like "You are gonna settle down SOON? Right?" or "When do you plan on settling down?" And it takes ALL of my niceness to block my filter and not let out a snarky comment.
I even gave my number to the karate assistant that I see every monday night. And you know what? He hasn't called. It's been about a week. WAY past the 24-hour rule. And I don't really care. And yet I kinda do. Because I don't normally do that.
I am not desperate.
But where the frijoles did that come from?
(Also there are fireworks somewhere close and I am really sad that I cannot see them.)
(Another also, some random dude texted me, but he had that wrong number.. but I am pretty sure we are becoming friends. Because we have had a text convo going for a while now. Technology is weird man.)
Also I am definitely putting off cleaning my room.
I am TWENTY TWO years old and I have no one telling me to clean my room but myself and yet... here I am putting it off cause I don't wanna do it. I cleaned the kitchen and bought some yarn for my little friend. And hung stuff up on the walls. And cleaned, and cooked, and am planning on cooking more later... and now I just don't wanna do anything but sit here and write.
I finally want to write, but I don't know what to write.
I know what I want to write, but you dear readers, would be all:
"GOSH YOU HAVE TOO MUCH STUFF ON YOUR BRAIN AND IT HAS THE EMOTIONS AND WHY WOULD YOU SHARE THAT? ITS CONTAGIOUS!!!"
And you know what? You're right. The emotions are contagious. That is why I am only sharing the fun ones with you. Because if you are going to catch the emotions, I want you to catch the good ones.
So I hope it has worked. I will keep you updated on the random texter and um yeah.
See at the moment we are now chatting about his brothers girlfriend and how he was trying to reach HER and not me. (OBVIOUSLY) and yeah.
I miss writing
I am going to get off now. Goodnight Goodnight, parting is such sweet sorrow.
Until tomorrow night :D