I am still SO excited with how God blessed me today!
Giving me this job that I have been wanting for two years!
And getting known as a ballet teacher. It just astounds me. God is blessing me in ways I have been wanting since I was little.
When I was little I would make up dances even though I had very little clue as to what I was doing. I would just do what the music told me. And I loved doing it. Even now... It's my favorite part.
Don't get me wrong.. I LOVE dancing. It's my favorite, but my even MORE favorite is getting to make up a dance. Getting to tell a story without having to use words because words are hard.
I love teaching.
I love watching people grow and getting to see how they have grown. I just.. it amazes me and somehow I feel closer to God.
Not in an equal sort of way, but in a way where I wonder if that is what he sees but EVEN MORE.
This growingness inside of us. This proudness of watching someone you want to see exceed grow and get better and move to bigger and better things.
And I can only hope that God looks at me and is proud.
I worry about that sometimes.
Do you ever wonder if what you are doing is making God proud?
Cause I do.
All the time.
Do I show him?
Do I carry his name proudly?
Can people tell I am proud to be called his daughter?
Those are weird.
Have you ever thought about it? Have you ever though about the fact that names are labels? Something so little and so taken for granted but yet... carry so much of us. I mean our parents thought and fought to get us named what we are named.
I know mine did.
My mom wanted Josephine. My dad liked Emily. My mom also liked Amelia.. would settle for Emilia.. and yet here I am Emilie. I match the definition.
I have met people who match their name SO wonderfully, I cannot imagine them having another name.
Even these nicknames I put in here like "male-friend-whom-I-am-fond-of" is a label. Something to let you know who I am talking about. But it also carries meaning. It conveys meaning.
You wouldn't believe me if I said I am NOT fond of him. Why?
Because since like October I have said I AM fond of him...
Which makes me wonder if we GROW into our names.
Perhaps that first year we hear our names so often... that our personality just sorta shapes into our name.
Did God plant seeds in our parent's brains, make them stubborn and unwilling to name their off spring anything else because we FIT our name? Like maybe we had that name before our parents even had the IDEA of having us..
Its one of those questions that hurts my brains.
We listen to music, we don't know the title and its instrumental and it shapes itself to what we NEED.
But the moment we hear lyrics or a title. That music is set.
I really don't know where I am going with this other than that... names are important.
Even nicknames on my silly little blog.
You know how much I like a person or what a person is like based on my blog. For Example:
And yet you only know one side based on the names. You might even think i have negative feelings towards one or two of them. Funny thing is.. I don't.
Artsy guy is this guy who I actually just met. A friend of my theatre roommate. She is more than theatre though. She does beautiful art, makes great scenery, is exceptional at knowing the best wines and such, great baker.
always-has-to-clean-something-roommate might make you think she drives me nuts. But actually she is the LITERALLY the sweetest person I know. She is quiet and can be shy. She is nutso if you give her the chance to be! She cleans and that is a good thing! She makes sure we make time in our busy lives to keep our living area nice and neat and people friendly.
Crazy guy. He sounds nuts. He is nuts. But he too is one of the sweetest people I know. He has stopped a game night and DRAGGED those people to my apartment to come cheer me up. He has listened to me rant when I am freaking about something big or small. He has helped me eat what I cooked, and gone on a walk or two because he knows I am thinking much too hard for my own good. We also have this great and wonderful platonic relationship going. People tried to set us up... but we agreed, better friends than anything else. And you know? Its made life fantastic! I can go to him for guy advice and vice versa. Because we don't have to worry about each other thinking the other is making a pass.
My oober-sarcastic-friend. While oober sarcastic is so STINKING hilarious!!! I actually met him under the oddest of cricumstances. And boy.. I was anything but shy that evening so we never had that weird me being shy thing that most of these other people saw. In fact he came over for grilled hamburgers tonight. It was enjoyable. We walked through walmart. Which always a blast with him because we can never seem to find what we need which means there are lots of witty lines and jokes going on. He is a very nice guy with this crazy hard shell and affinity to hermit. We bonded quickly on that one :)
And of course.
How could I forget my male-friend-whom-I-am-fond-of. You all have read about him. I could probably write a post all about him. But I won't (you need not worry about that sir). Just know he is more complex than he will ever let on. And wonderful and aggravating. He is the one that showed me that chisel video that I posted in this blog post. So if you want a small window on what he is like... go read that and the ones before. He is mentioned a few times. His story is pretty great. The one you know and the one you don't know. :)
But that is the amazing thing about people and also the scary thing about people. You never really know everything about them. And they probably don't know everything about themselves. (As was pointed out to me by my oober-sarcastic-friend.)
And yet God still loves us. And he knows EVERYTHING about us.
Glad someone does.