Like. You wake up early, you work for ten hours or so, you get home too tired too cook, so you just knock on your neighbors door hoping that maybe they will let you borrow their microwave. They did by the way...
Then you sit, and realize that you really didn't microwave enough chicken, so you pull the out the glass dish from the fridge and eat whatever leftovers are left cold. While watching Gilmore Girls of course.
This is your wind down time.
You need wind down time to feel productive, because you work so fast paced all day, and to keep from burning out, you gotta sit and cuddle with the fluff ball right? Right.
Then you look at the time, productiveness welling within your very core, ready to burn bright. Then you see the time. It's almost ten.
How has time managed to slip through your finger tips at such a rapid rate?
I have no idea. But adulting is hard. And I don't wanna do it.
I look around and see people my age and a little older... living this life that is so adventurous and carefree. Then there is me.
I worry about sixty-six mini-humans everyday.
How are they doing?
Did their dog die?
How is their week going?
Why has that student who is normally so wonderful acting out?
Why haven't they turned in their homework? What's going on?
How can I make school less boring?
How can I make this memorable?
How can I show them I care?
How can I be the teacher I have always dreamed of being??
When sometimes I feel like my life is so unorganized?
I know these kids look up to me.
I know these kids hate when I get onto them.
I know these kids often look forward to my class.
I decked out my room. Remember?
Oh gosh. If I could have taped their reactions to all the decorations.
They responded like kids do to Christmas.
And that was the exact response I was hoping for.
That response made my twelve hours of decorating worth it.
Zac once asked me how long I have thought that I can keep this up. And the honest answer is. I don't know. But I will keep it up as long as I can. The kids deserve the best. Do I have a life? No. No I do not.
Do I wish I had a life? Yes. Yes I do.
Do I miss my friends? Yep.
Do I sometimes wonder if I am even doing anything right? Oh you betcha!
And I want to help. I really do. Because that is who I am.
I need an adventure. I really need an adventure/mini vacation.
Because this break wasn't long enough.
Don't get me wrong, I do love my job. And I just set the coffee machine up and I am ready-ish for tomorrow. I am going to get some stuff done now like the adult I know I am... somewhere deep inside me.