So this is the night that me and my friend were talking about life and some of lifes problems when we moved onto the topic of God. He asked, `The one thing I dont understand is how God just was, before anything was created. Like how did he exist where did he come from... it just doesnt make sense.`
For some reason, at that moment, in the beautfiul darkness it sort of made sense. God is an artist.
Think about it. When a picture is created it comes into existance. Before the picture was painted all there was, was a canvas, paints, an idea... and an Artist. To what is put on canvas (in our case us} there was nothing before us. Life starts just as soon as we were made. It doesnt make sense that there was anything before us. Where did the artist come from... Where did the artist get the idea to *paint* us... Why did he choose to paint what he did... All we really know is that there is an Artist up there, who made us, and that the artist painted what he did for a reason.
To the Artist however, there is so much he knows. He knows before the painting and gets to see what happens after the painting. Even before he painted the painting he knew he wanted to paint that painting. He took the time to plan every small detail. To design it to be just so. He dreamed of how this painting is going end, and in his eyes that painting might have mess ups but they are beautiful and he uses them. There is no part of the painting he doesnt love. He loves putting sparkle in eyes, and lovingly paints the trees to give the people in his picture shade.
This is like us. We are the painting and God is the Artist. He knew what we as a person was going to be like before the world was created. He knew when he was going to have each person come into exsistance and how that person was going to impact however they did. He planned everything. Down to the smallest thing that makes our day. He knows exactly when we need that cool breeze, or when that butterfly flitting past us is going to give us a smile when we need it most.
In reality he spoils us as his children. He humors us. The lightbulb that Edison didnt HAVE to work. But God allowed it. God put that curiousity into Edisons mind. He didnt have to let us have that job, but he gave it to us because he knew it would be best for us. He didnt have to let us get those concert tickets or show us where the nearest swing club is.. but he did. Because he is our father, and fathers love love love seeing their children happy.
But just like any father, He has to allow consequences of our actions to happen. But he is right there with us during those consequences. He doesnt leave us. He says, `Honey, I am not ever going to leave you. Lets get through this together. Trust me, you will get through this.`
That is the wonderful thing about God. He is real and the relationship we can have with him is so real. He is right there. He loves listening and he loves talking. He loves showing us little things he created and enjoys when we are amazed by how the light of the moon on a lake looks like dancing stars on the water. He laughs when we cant help but giggle as we watch squirrels chase eachother on the lawn. This creation that he has given us... nature and sunsets. They are presents to us. Showing us how much he loves us. They are gifts and miracles. He loves making his children smile. He cries when we cry. When we hurt, so does he. He probably hurts worse than us. Because he KNOWS what it is like to lose someone. He KNOWS the pain behind rejection. And he is willing to help us know that... we will get through. When we dont feel worth it... when we feel like a screw up. When God seems so much further away than he really is... That is when God will start showing you how much he is really there. How special you are to him. He will give you reminder after reminder. A kid coming up and telling you that you are the prettiest lady they have ever seen. A dog that walks up to and lets you pet them and bury your head into their fur. A sunset that takes your breath away. A silent room when everything is just screaming all around you. God is there. God puts those things in our life specifically because he knows how much we need them. To help us remember he is right there.
I know I struggle with feeling worth it. But sometimes even when I am down on myself, all I have to do is look around at the beauty God put around us for us and I remember how much he thinks we are worth it. So worth it that he will paint the most beautiful sunset for our enjoyment!!!