Work is mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausting.
Last year, though it too had difficulties...
Was fun.
This year.
It's not
It is just not.
And I know that teachers have rough years.
But.
I have been sitting here.
Wondering...
What makes a good teacher.
And when I google it...
It says things like:
-Good listener
-Engages students
-Makes their room a safe place
-Encourages students
-Helps students
And by all those accounts.
I am a good teacher.
But honestly?
There are days I DREAD going to work.
Literally.
I will tear up at the thought that I have to deal with a certain class or...
I even go into this stressed out paralysis...
Where I just have SO MUCH to accomplish.
That I cannot do it.
Like today.
All I had to do today was grade and make spread sheets and send emails and import grades and write lesson plans.
And then I found out my mom is staying the night.
So on top of THAT I have to clean.
And my brain is just so tired I want to just sit down and cry.
No.
What I really want is to cuddle with the male-whom-I-am-fond-of.
I want to be in his arms where I feel safe.
Where I feel complete
Where I do not feel like a failure.
Where time stands still.
Where I can be me
Where all the problems of work just don't seem so daunting...
And he doesn't look at me like I am silly or incompetent.
He takes me seriously.
I get to see him tomorrow.
And I am so incredibly excited.
It won't be for very long.
But that hour that I do get to see him.
Is gonna be SO worth it.
So incredibly worth it.
Because he is incredible and worth every mile in between us.
It's not so bad cause we get to talk over the phone.
Which is really really nice.
Like I know that sounds like I am just smoothing it over.
But really.
I LOVE talking to him over the phone.
Because we talk.
We talk about goofy stuff.
We talk about serious stuff.
We talk about everything.
We trust each other.
He is a wonderful human.
And I thank God, literally, every day for him.
Because.
God deserves the glory of this relationship and of the friendship that built up as the foundation.
Zac has literally mentioned that sometimes our conversations sound like something off of Psych. (Like between Shawn and Gus)
And I could believe it because we are best friends who get to cuddle and kiss. Which is the best thing ever.
Also.
Fun story for you yesterday.
I had to run into Hyvee yesterday and I was talking to my man. And I had my head phones plugged into my phone.
So.
It looked like I was walking around listening to music.
I was actually listening to my boyfriend.
Well I passed this old lady and I as I passed her I laughed and was like, "You are SO weird." Well she seemed a little offended.
Then directly after that I said, 'No! You can't fart on me in front of my mom! So ha!'
Well the looks on peoples faces were priceless.
Then I was in line and in response to Zac I said, "Charlemagne is pretty cool."
Then I realized I was getting a funny look from the dude behind me.
This is why headphone phone calls are tricky business.
Pretty sure everyone thought I was talking to myself.
But I honestly do not even care.
I was on the phone with my love. And that is more than enough for me!!! :D