Never before have I wanted things to be so perfect than I do for my daughter.
Usually I will clean to uncluttered and undusty and ya know.. clean.
BUT NOW
It's like I have to BLEACH things and organize and reorganize and it's insane.
My husband is a champion.
He has been putting up with me getting frustrated because it feels never ending.
It feels like I am doing the cha-cha.
Two steps forward one step back
AND GOODNESS WHERE DID THAT STUPID PILE COME FROM?!
And I don't feel like I am in control of much
And I am so tired
And I have so much to do on this never ending list.
Now, I am sure you are thinking "Why doesn't your hubs help?!"
The answer is.
He does.
A lot.
The truth is I should probably give him more to do and I know he asks what he can do.
It's just.
I know I am so particular right now.
I would rather be mad at me, then mad at him because it isn't quite right.
We have less than 50 days before we are getting a baby and I am FREAKING OUT MAN!
I am going to be a mom.
He is going to be a dad.
And somedays I have a list that is SO LONG and I can't move.
I am so tired
So overwhelmed
I have to get the apartment ready for the baby shower.
I keep getting caught up in the silly details.
And it's just...
Crazy.
I heard this is the easiest part of parenthood.
But it's hard because I don't know what to expect.
I am finding myself with a shorter fuse.
And it isn't fair to the male-whom-I-am-fond of.
Tonight he gets to hang out with his friends.
And I am happy he doesn't have to be around me.
Not because I don't want him close, but because I know I am a LOT to deal with right now.
He is fabulous. As always.