It was about a Polar Bear who got SUPER lost and ended up in this warm part of the world. And it was lonely.
Well this other polar bear travels to get to the lonely polar bear.
Eventually they meet up and they lived happily ever after.
And I just thought about how great it was.
God cares so much for things down here on Earth that he saw the lonely polar bear and said, "Hey. Don't be lonely little white fluffy thing.... I will send you a friend!"
SO HE DOES!
And he has that polar bear friend travel and find the lonely polar bear.
Then they spent their polar bear days together and wasn't lonely.
And people say God doesn't exist.
He gives us...
These amazing and wonderful and just all around amazing dreams
And then he fulfills them.
Everyone says I am in the honeymoon stage still.
I might be.
Just a really stressful honeymoon...
But I love my job.
I love these kids.
Even when they are annoying and are trying to set me up with one of the gym teachers.
They are the bright spots in my day.
I love this job more than I ever thought I would.
Even with all the little tasks.
Even with all the projects teachers do.
Even with all the hours I put in.
Even when I am scared I am not good enough...
Even when I get nervous about my evaluations that are coming up.
I love this job.
I am more tired than I was in college though..
I am lonely sometimes.
But I have made friends.
I get to talk to God a lot.
Because it is just me and him.
I am trying to get an apartment.
I am trying to pay off my loans and debt.
I am trying to be the best human that I can be.
And life is really really good!
I am so glad things have happened the way they have!
God really does know the plans he has for me!
I would apologize for always talking about God on here, but I really am not sorry at all.
I love God so much.
He is so faithful to me, even when I am a mess, or anything.
Sometimes I feel like I am missing something.
But God just kind of eases that.
Tells me to wait. To be patient.
I see all these beautiful families.
I know full well I am not ready for one...
I talk to God about them.
It has become one of the desires of my heart to be a mom.
That is a new feeling.
I never wanted to be a mom.
Always scared I couldn't do it.
Always afraid I would fail miserably.
But teaching has helped this new backbone of mine to get stronger
I remember when Zac would come over and hang out.
And we would be talking and I would be telling him how I got walked all over.... and he would tap my backbone and say, "You gotta grow one of these."
And I really like being brave. Bold.
Sometimes I feel mean though.
I want to help out people
I want to make their life easier is whatever way.
I was bound and determined to have the parents be in charge of the stuff for carnival.
Well they come in today wanting the cafeteria to work.
Which means... I have to be around for that.
Well long story short, they are having the "party" in my classroom after school.
Which means I don't get dinner until very late.
HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?!
The secretary was a little miffed at them.
But that is just the secretary.
Backbone is still a work in progress.
And I really miss Zac.
I am not familiar with the sensation of missing someone.
I hate it.
It hurts and it leaves this hole in your heart.
I have moved so much I haven't missed anyone for so long.
And it's weird.
And it doesn't matter.
And I do promise I am trying not to.
I tell people (like my mother) that I am fine. It happens. It's not a big deal. I am used to it.
And yet this time it is taking longer to shake.
Oh well. Such is life :D
Life is weird, and exciting and exhilarating and adventurous and even a little scary.
And I would like some really good young christian friends... that I don't have to drive 2 hours to see (though I am keeping those too!!!). But I guess I just have a little bit longer to wait! So here goes waiting.
And sir, if you are reading this.
I do still miss you. I am trying to do as you want and move on with my life. I am sorry for how I handled things. I am still figuring this new me out. I am also so sorry I have not sent those videos back. Things have been crazy in the teaching world, I know it is no excuse.. but it really has been nuts. I hope life is treating you better. I am not sorry for being brave though, and I am not sorry for finally saying things I have held in... I am sorry if it has caused you grief. That is what I am sorry for.